Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
