You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
