I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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