Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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