grandma shit on top of the toilet
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
