Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
