well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
