If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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