Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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