So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
