did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
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He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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