You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
