as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
