I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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