spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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