i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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