In the future we'll all be gay
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
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