he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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