He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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