wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
