that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
