hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
