A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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