I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize