You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
