epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
