I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
