glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
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he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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