I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
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He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
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the night was just a blur of sex and pie
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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