I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
