So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
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when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
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I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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