I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
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VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
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you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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