Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
