WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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