Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize