Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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