I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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