Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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