I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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