shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
