I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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