I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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