its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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