I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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