Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
