we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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