I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
