just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I need a burrito and a hug.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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