so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize