i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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