i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize