i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I intend to get homeless drunk
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
