waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
