NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
