i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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