Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
