I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
