My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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