do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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