porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
