im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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